Kadence’s story

Gender: nonbinary

Pronouns: they/them

Current home: Virginia Beach, Virginia

From:  New Jersey

Cultural Background/Identity: Navy Veteran, Music & IT Background

Interests: Music (A LOT of it), Writing, Old School RuneScape, IT Projects

Around four years ago, things slowly started to turn for the better in terms of self-worth.  At the time I was still active duty in the Navy and took part in a group therapy session attempting to deal with certain events from my life, each involving family and work. Each person was asked to look at themselves and think of a phrase/word that they would want their future to represent.  Through much consideration, with a tightened voice and holding back tears, mine became “Identity.”

Since then, I have always strived to become the person I want to be instead of being reduced to the opinion of others.  While this motive has never been exclusive to gender identity, it is one of the primary motivations in understanding that I am Non-Binary.  Above all, I believe that it is a person’s character and actions that define them, and that so long as they carry themself with self-respect and courage, there is nothing else in life to fear.

Circling back to me understanding that I am Non-Binary – it’s comical how many things I look back on in the past that clearly have hinted towards me being gender non-conforming, or pointed towards the fact I was never fully comfortable with myself.  Back in middle school, I played the character Nathan Detroit in the school play for “Guys & Dolls,” and I remember being so fixated on referring myself as “Nathan” in places that weren’t necessary, even going as far as signing attendance sheets as “Nathan.”  While some teachers weren’t as thrilled, it honestly felt nice to be someone different than what I was labeled at birth.

Three years ago, I started to question my own gender identity more.  I had already realized I was bisexual and started going to LGBTQIA+ bars/clubs.   Keeping with the motive of always questioning and discovering the real me, I started going out presenting much more feminine.   I slowly started to develop my own sense of image and understood that after all this time, I was suppressing a lot of emotions that I was afraid of confronting.  That year concluded in realizing I was nonbinary.

To this day I continue to express myself freely through music and writing, to include writing my first novels and playing in gigs across the 757 area.  I believe it is important for everyone, regardless of gender, orientation, race, creed, etc., to take the time to look within themselves and ask what they truly want from life.   Everyone should be given a chance to act on their dreams and live to the fullest.