Daniel’s Story 

Gender: transgender man
Sexuality: queer
Pronouns: he/him/his
Current home and From: Durham, North Carolina
Cultural background/identity: Black
Interests: photography, crochet, travel

I knew I was different from the time I was a child, even before I knew what transgender meant. I would wear my brother’s clothes in secret and I was friends with a lot of boys. I never really liked wearing dresses and girl’s clothes. In elementary school I was fairly androgynous for the most part. I knew about the changes puberty brings to girls, but I thought they’d skip over me.

Unfortunately, the changes didn’t skip me. Middle school was different as it became hyper gendered. Girls had their spaces and activities, while boys had theirs. I didn’t really see myself as one of the girls because they were excited about make up, getting bras, and talking to boys. I later found out that my middle school friend group was mostly queer without saying it: Me, a trans man, a trans woman, 2 lesbians, a gay man and 1 straight but supportive friend who was always there.

In high school, I knew I was attracted to girls, but not like how a lesbian is attracted to girls. In the way that boys are attracted to girls. I started putting my hair in a ponytail and hiding it under hats a lot of the time. I also started binding my chest around this time. It felt freeing to have almost nothing there. I started going tomy school’s Gay Straight Alliance meetings, and I met my community for the first time. I finally felt like me. I struggled for years to fit in as a girl, and for a few months, I even tried to convince myself that I could just force myself to exist as a woman because it would have been easier than being trans. It didn’t last long.  I could no longer hide who I was.

I came out to a few close friends. I started over when I started college. It was hard, as there wasn’t as much trans visibility back then. At times my college didn’t know what to do with me in terms of gender as I hadn’t updated my legal name or gender. But overall, a lot of professors and students were supportive about using my new name and pronouns. 

I started testosterone at 19 after doing gender therapy. It was life changing. The biggest change was that I started to think more clearly, no more racing thoughts. I became more confident and finally got facial hair and all that comes with testosterone puberty. I’m 31 now and have been medically transitioning for over 12 years now. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I feel seen, I’m surrounded by community members and chosen family who love me. When people find out I’m trans sometimes they congratulate me, or thank me for being open about it. A lot of people tell me that they wish they could transition, but they don’t think they would be accepted. Living authentically is the best gift I’ve ever given myself, and I encourage others to do the same.

September 2024