Emma’s story

Gender: Figuring things out

Sexuality: Asexual lesbian

Pronouns: she/they | they/she

Current home: West Virginia

Cultural background: White, Appalachian

Interests: Reading; crafts of all kinds, currently crochet and jewelry-making; listening to music; studying psychology; advocacy and activism work

Along with the realization that I was queer came the assumption that I would need to leave Appalachia to feel safe and validated in my identity. And though safety does continue to be a concern while living in an intensely conservative state, I have found that queer community can blossom among these mountains and hollers just as deeply as it does in big cities.

From the high school friends that supported me as my identity evolved and took shape, to leaders in organizations doing advocacy work and creating queer community; all have played crucial roles in my life.  Being surrounded by queer people brings me alive in a way that nothing else does and it encourages me to continue doing whatever I can to bring queer joy to West Virginia. I doubt I would have ever felt brave enough to live as openly as I do now if I did not have people around me doing the same.

Books have also always played a large role in helping develop and validate my identity. I don’t know where I would be right now if I had not grown up being able to see myself in fictional characters and using their stories to escape when my own was too difficult. Queer books, both fiction and nonfiction, have had an especially important role in helping me figure out my identity when I didn’t have people around me in person to lead the way. I have experienced vicious hate for daring to be openly queer in this state, but I have also experienced passionate acceptance and love that has made it all worth it. I do not know if I will stay in Appalachia after my education is finished – I have always dreamed of living in a big city– but I do know I will always feel a connection to this place and that I am happy to call myself a queer Appalachian.

PHOTOGRAPHER’S NOTE:   In the first few minutes that Emma and I were getting acquainted and comfortable with each other, a man who might have been in his 50’s stopped to make a suggestive and unwanted comment towards Emma, insinuating something about her outfit.  We were both thrown off guard, and neither of us had a snappy come-back as we turned the backs of our shoulders toward the man to signal that he should move on.  Later I apologized to Emma, as I felt like I should have said something that might have sent him on his way faster while he lingered for acknowledgment; it’s also important to me these photo sessions feel like a safe space for authentic expression and was worried the interaction deterred from that.  

She wasn’t rattled by the interaction, but on my part led to a little further thought following our discussion of embracing sexuality, something that is separate but inextricably woven into gender in many ways.  Emma was dressed for herself, and to celebrate herself, which includes a recent embrace of her asexuality.  She didn’t dress to invite others to project their own sexuality.   The moment reminded me how much unlearning the world still has to do — and how powerful it is when someone like Emma chooses to show up, unapologetically, for themselves.

October 2024