Tali’s Story

Gender: trans woman

Sexuality: bisexual lesbian

Pronouns: she/her

Current home: Boston, Massachusetts

From: Pennsylvania and Maryland

Cultural Background/Identity: Jewish

Interests: Motorcycle racing, rock climbing, art projects, jewelry making, dancing, mechanical engineering

I was raised very religious in a Jewish family with the expectation of eventually becoming a good Jewish husband and father.  It never quite fit right but I lacked the context for anything else that I could be.  My younger sibling came out as trans when I was in college, but it took another 8 years or so for my own egg to crack; my sibling’s trans masc experiences didn’t resonate with me at the time, although they do now.

I internalized a lot of gender norms around being an engineer with motorsports hobbies and interests that aligned with traditional masculinity.  I was also in an abusive marriage.  So, I was strongly defining myself by my work, hobbies and role as a spouse, and couldn’t make space for myself as a person.  My perspectives on femininity being incompatible with my roles finally started to shift when two queer engineers joined the company I had been working for. 

Another hurdle in realizing my gender identity was being stuck in the idea that experiencing dysphoria is a core part of being trans.  I didn’t know yet that being trans could also be a lack of experiencing gender euphoria, and didn’t recognize this in myself.  Once those feelings came to the surface, I started questioning if I was nonbinary.  Over time, I learned to come up with my own version of femininity and beauty that fits me.

Now I wear sundresses and ride motorcycles, I paint my nails and go to work in the shop. I found a direction that works for me, that isn’t being pulled down two separate paths.  I can feel both feminine and strong.  Bringing that mentality to the cisheteronormative spaces that contributed to keeping me trapped in a shell for so long is important and freeing to me. I put on mascara and eyeliner before every race, Pride logos on my dirtbike with “feminine” colors, and trans pride flag displayed prominently at work.

The more I continue to be pushed out of these sports and hobbies, the harder I push back, and I’m fortunate that it works for me in being able to merge these areas of my life without complying to gender stereotypes and expectations.

Since my egg cracking, I’ve found such a deep community with queer people and the company of people who allow themselves the freedom and curiosity to explore and redefine gender, expression, and identity.  I think I’ve hit my limit of cisheteronormative masculinity in my life.

There’s affirmation in interacting with other gender expansive people, where the active recognition of my gender doesn’t feel like a task to remember the same way it does with cishet relationships.  In my romantic relationship, I feel real, respected and seen as myself.  My partner truly sees me as the complete, and complex expression of woman that I am without the need for a deliberate mental shift.  We see one another as growing and uncontained identities.

Update from Tali in August 2025 (photos taken Feb 2025):  It’s wild coming back to the memory of this photoshoot and reading what I had to say back in February, because around 2 months after these pictures were taken I came to realize that actually I was right all those years ago; turns out I’m non-binary after all.  Genderfluid, to be more precise. 

I’m still a woman, with my own version of femininity that I hammered and bent and welded and drilled and shaped to fit myself.   Still a sister to my siblings.  That much of myself hasn’t really changed from how it was when I met Jayme in a café in Richmond with sand and dirt from a race down in South Carolina still caked under my fingernails.  But now, there’s so much more to who I am.  Not male, not female, not somewhere in between or some combination of the two – something that’s just … me.   My pronouns fluctuate by the day, as does my gender expression.   But it’s still me.   Still Tali.   But oh so much more colorful than before.   Brighter, and louder, and faster.   Always faster.  

I’ve asked Jayme not to edit this post, because I think there’s something to be said for the way these photos are a picture of a moment in my queer journey, an honest snapshot of the way I understood myself right then.  I don’t want to reach back through time to change that. 

Photo location note:  Photos weren’t taken in Massachusetts on Tali’s home turf, but in Richmond, Virginia on a frigidly cold winter day.  I had intermittently corresponded with Tali’s partner for awhile, and we decided to meet up when they were traveling from a race in South Carolina back to New England.    We found a random spot in downtown Richmond that seemed to fit with the post-race high following Tali up the coast!  

To support Tali’s racing career as they continue to buck gender norms in motorsports, check out their site here.