“Donny” or Anissa’s Story

Gender: Nonbinary

Sexuality: queer

Pronouns: she/they

Current home: Waldorf, Maryland

From: Queens, New York

Cultural Background/Identity:  black

Interests: basketball, poetry, photography

My journey with identity and expression has been shaped by my experiences, relationships, and the process of challenging societal expectations. I’ve come to understand that who I am isn’t confined to traditional gender roles but is instead a mix of my values, emotions, and the way I connect with others.

In relationships, I’ve learned that authenticity matters more than fitting into stereotypes. I’ve been dating someone for a short time, but our connection has already shown me the

importance of emotional presence. She values quality time and physical touch, which has helped me embrace deeper emotional expression and vulnerability. Society often discourages men from prioritizing these things, but I’ve realized they are essential in forming a meaningful bond.

I also see how gender roles affect expectations in other areas of life, like work and personal ambitions. I admire her strength and dedication to her business, and I recognize the unique pressures she faces. Instead of feeling the need to fit into the “provider” role in a traditional sense, I focus on supporting her in ways that truly matter: offering encouragement, being present, and helping her find moments of peace amidst her stress.

Over time, I’ve unlearned the idea that strength means emotional detachment or independence at all costs. Real strength, I’ve found, comes from being open, supportive, and willing to grow. Whether in relationships, friendships, or daily life, I try to embrace a version of masculinity that values empathy and connection just as much as resilience and ambition.

At the end of the day, we’re all unique, complex individuals who don’t fit into rigid molds. My journey has been about defining myself on my own terms and creating space for others to do the same.

PHOTOGRAPHER’S NOTE:  I met Donny in a place that felt quintessentially D.C. – a narrow back alley lined with murals, leading to a tucked-away coffee shop just off the main road. Across from the shop, red brick walls held layers of queer-themed art that glowed softly against the grey, drizzly day.

It was a spot they knew well, one they’d used before for their small business, 17th & Granville.  Donny’s eyes lit up every time they talked about fashion design and the ways they weave creativity with social advocacy.  Some of their designs are bold; others are quiet and intentional. Both approaches rise to resist – sometimes loudly, and sometimes with stealth – in a political climate where visibility and courage matter more than ever.

Photographs taken April 2025